Christmas Through Tears: Finding Hope in the Hard Seasons

The other night, as I pulled out the boxes of Christmas decorations, I found myself taking longer than usual to hang each ornament. My tree wasn’t just a festive decoration; it was a timeline of my life. There were ornaments that belonged to my dad, who passed away in 2021, just seeing his name “Lynn” on the tiny Santa ornament made me wonder the last time his hands had touched it. Had he smiled in his unique demure way when he received it? Were there any traces of his fingerprints still left on this memorial of him I now held in my hand?

I longed to know.

If only somehow I could reach across the eternal chasm to see my dad one more time. To hear his voice. But of course I can’t. Yet to be able to hold something that perhaps my dad last held or looked upon… well that would have to be enough.

Next, my hands lingered over tiny, painted ornaments my children made when they were little, memories of their giggles and sticky fingers washed over me. And then a thought hit me, one that stopped me mid-motion: Someday, my children will hang ornaments from these same boxes and reminisce about me.

Christmas has always been my favorite season. But this year, as I mark my 59th Christmas, it’s bittersweet. Nostalgia seems sharper, grief more tender. The season amplifies both the joy of what was and the ache of what’s missing. Sitting by the lit tree, I couldn’t help but think about how different Christmas is without my dad. His strong, steady voice calling out, “Hey Kiddo” is a sound I’ll never hear again on this side of heaven. The void is palpable, and yet, as I reflect on his life, I feel the nudge of the Spirit to look deeper.

The season amplifies both the joy of what was and the ache of what’s missing.

The Ache of Loss in the Holidays

For Spirit-filled believers, we understand that this world is not our home. We know, deep in our spirits, that our hope is anchored in eternity. But knowing doesn’t always ease the sting of grief, especially during the holidays. Grief feels like an intruder in a season of celebration. As we hang wreaths and sing carols, the ache of those no longer with us can feel almost unbearable.

Yet even in our grief, we are not without hope. Scripture reminds us: “The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart” (Psalm 34:18). God sees every tear we shed as we pull out a keepsake or hear a carol that transports us back to a simpler, happier time. He understands the tension we feel—the joy of His birth mingled with the pain of loss.

Christmas Is a Reminder of His Presence

What comforts me most in these moments is the name given to Jesus in Isaiah 7:14: Immanuel, God with us. Christmas is a celebration of the fact that God stepped into our broken world to walk alongside us. He came for the grieving, the lonely, and the weary. He came to heal the ache of sin and death, once and for all.

Jesus was no stranger to grief. When Lazarus died, Jesus wept, even though He knew resurrection was coming (John 11:35). That moment reminds me that it’s okay to weep for what we’ve lost, even as we hold on to the promise of eternal life. Our tears are not a lack of faith—they are evidence of love. And through it all, God is present, whispering comfort and holding us close.

Hope in the Midst of Nostalgia

As I look at the ornaments on my tree, I see them differently now. Each one is a reminder of God’s faithfulness throughout the years. He was there in the moments I’m reminiscing about, and He is here now in the moments of reflection and loss.

Although my dad wasn’t a churchgoer, his legacy left an indelible mark on my life. He was a man of truth, integrity, and unwavering commitment to family. In his community, everyone respected him—and everyone wanted to be his friend. My dad worked hard and cared deeply, but when I think about what he left behind, it’s not so much the things - although we all laugh about his meticulously kept pole barn full of collectibles - it’s the way he lived: honest, generous, and deeply loyal to those he loved.

When I reflect on his life, I’m reminded of Matthew 6:19-20: “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth… But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven.” My dad’s greatest treasures weren’t stored in a bank account but in the hearts of those who knew him. The values he lived by—kindness, integrity, and love for family—are a legacy I will always cherish.

Someday, my children and grandchildren will stand by their own Christmas trees, unpacking these same ornaments and reminiscing about me. I pray that as they do, they’ll see a legacy that points them to Jesus—a life marked by His love and grace. It’s my turn now to pass that baton, and while I deeply honor my dad’s legacy of character and family, I want to leave something more: the hope of eternity and the promise of life through Jesus Christ through the miraculous infilling of the Holy Ghost (Acts 2, 8. 10 & 19)

Walking Through the Holidays With Grace

For those of us grieving during the holidays, the answer isn’t to push past the pain or pretend it doesn’t exist. The answer is to invite Jesus into it. When you feel the ache of an empty chair at the table or a missing voice in the carols, turn your heart toward heaven. Pray. Weep. Worship. His presence will meet you there.

Apostolic belivers, understand that the Holy Ghost is our Comforter, guiding us into all truth (John 16:13). And that truth is this: Death is not the end. Because of the birth we celebrate at Christmas, we have the hope of eternity. As Revelation 21:4 promises, “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying…”

The Light of Christmas

This season, my Christmas tree feels different. It still sparkles, but now it speaks of both the beauty of the past and the hope of the future. As I sit beside it, I’m reminded that the light of Christmas is not just the glow of ornaments or candles. It’s the light of Jesus Christ, shining into the darkest corners of our grief and filling us with peace.

If you’re grieving this season, know that you’re not alone. Immanuel—God with us—is here, even now. Let Him comfort you, and let the hope of His promise sustain you.

This Christmas, let’s cherish the memories, grieve with hope, and celebrate the One who makes eternity possible.

Grief Coaching Group

If you're navigating the challenges of grief and seeking support, we invite you to learn more about our upcoming Online Grief Group Coaching, "Beauty from Ashes: Finding God’s Plan for Me After Loss." To connect with us, simply visit the Pursuing Wholeness website and click any of the connect buttons. Mention your interest in "Beauty from Ashes," and we’ll send you additional details on launch dates, times, and fees.