What If There Had Been No INTERCESSOR for Me?

“And he saw that there was no man, and wondered that there was no intercessor...”-Isaiah 59:16 (KJV)

There’s something hauntingly solemn in this scripture. God “wondered”—astonished—that there was no one to stand in the gap. No one to plead. No one to pray. No one to reach.

What if that had been my story?

In the year 2000, I was pushing myself too hard—carrying too much, giving from an empty cup, and stuffing my deep soul wounds under layers of responsibility. I was leading, helping, encouraging others… but I wasn’t tending to my own heart in the secret place with Jesus.

And let me be honest: food had long been my drug of choice. Since early childhood trauma, food was my comfort, my friend, my escape. At five years old, I didn’t have words for the pain—I only had food. And that pattern stayed with me into adulthood.

At 35 years old (yes, I was born in 1965 ), my body gave out. I got very sick. A natural doctor helped me with a radical dietary change—an all-raw food plan—and I lost 165 pounds. I looked great. I felt great. But I had no idea what was coming.

When the physical weight dropped, the emotional weight came crashing in.

From a mental wellness standpoint, this was what we call a crash after emotional suppression—where unresolved trauma resurfaces when our usual coping methods (like food) are stripped away. I was emotionally raw and spiritually vulnerable. (Note: If interested, this 2023 article from Camino Recovery explains the harmful effects of emotional suppression.)

I spiraled. Hard.

But I was not alone. God—so rich in mercy—sent me intercessors.

Momma Hensel, Anne Suarez, and Julie Katsion were my soul’s caretakers in that storm. They didn’t just pray for me—they stood with me. They said the hard things. They cried with me. They saw me when I couldn’t see myself.

They were Jesus with skin on.

To this day, I thank God for them. I wonder—what would have happened to me had they not interceded? Had they not listened to the Spirit’s nudge to reach for me?

I was also blessed to have access to professional counseling. I will always be grateful that I was able to meet with Carl Trapani, one of the first Apostolic counselors I knew of at the time. His insight and biblical foundation made a profound difference in my healing, especially because I so strongly identify as a Oneness Apostolic. My precious husband drove me six hours north to Eau Claire, Wisconsin for weekend intensives at his clinic. Later, when I was more stable, I transitioned to a local Christian counselor, though not Apostolic. Even then, God used that local counselor to help me process, grieve, and rebuild from the inside out.

It’s often said, 'it takes a village to raise a child,' but I believe it equally rings true when pursuing wholeness—mentally and spiritually. Counseling, prayer, friendships, and deep God-time are all vital parts of restoration.

There are people around you right now in a silent storm. Their distress may be masked in smiles, leadership roles, or unhealthy coping behaviors. They may be smiling on the outside but spiritually hemorrhaging on the inside.Will you be the one who intercedes?

Ask the Lord today:

Who are You pressing me to tend to… to intercede for… to reach for… to be Jesus with skin on to?

Because somewhere, someone’s survival is tied to your obedience.