Surrender: From Addiction to Freedom with Autum Pierce, LCSW

There came a day—after years of living a life consumed by drug use—when I had no other option but to surrender. The consequences were piling up. I had lost custody of my daughter, and the court ordered me into residential treatment if I ever wanted the chance to be her mother again.

I wish I could say I entered treatment to get clean—but that wasn’t the case. My only intention was to do what was required to get my daughter back. I had no plan for what came after. I wasn’t ready to stop using, and I didn’t fully believe I could.

I had been raised in truth. I had watched people countless times be healed, set free, and delivered. I never blamed God for my circumstances—I knew they were mine to own. Still, I remember times I would pray, “Lord, keep me safe—but if it’s Your will that I get caught in the middle of my mess, then let Your will be done.”

That was the first time I acknowledged that I was walking outside of His will, and yet still asked Him to be with me. That simple, honest prayer may have been my first act of true surrender. Not long after that, something in me began to change.

The night before I entered treatment, I tried to convince my friend to let me delay it for just a few more days. But through our conversation, I found myself praying again:“God, I know this isn’t Your will. But I’m going to take this chance—just be with me on this journey.”

That next morning, I woke up with a strength I had never felt before. It was quiet but certain. And I’ve never had the desire to use alcohol or drugs since that day—almost 18 years ago.

God removed the craving. He filled the void I had spent years trying to fill with substances. Because addiction is more than a physical disease—it’s mental, emotional, and spiritual. And for me, the deepest wound was spiritual. I had been looking outside myself to find something only God could provide.

When Surrender Becomes a Beginning

God met me in my surrender. He didn’t wait until I was clean or “worthy”—He came right into the chaos and began His healing work. I didn’t return to church immediately. In fact, I had what many call “church hurt” and wanted no part of religion. But I was open to prayer, even if it was minimal. That small thread of willingness allowed God to keep speaking to me.

Over the years, during my time in a 12-step fellowship, God showed up—big and loud. He called me, challenged me, moved me. I would respond for a season but often held back from fully surrendering. And then, tragedy struck. My world shattered, and all I had left was the Lord.

This time, I didn’t ask Him to fix my situation. I asked Him to fix me. And that’s exactly what He began to do.

God Placed the Right People in My Path

He placed believers all around me—at work, in conversations, in divine appointments. One day I realized that out of 15 coworkers, 6 of them were strong believers walking in truth. One began to gently talk to me about the Bible—not opinion, but the Word itself. I hadn’t picked up a Bible since I was a child, but now I couldn’t get enough.

Interestingly, one of the only two items I still own from childhood is that very Bible. It traveled with me through countless places, always tucked somewhere in my belongings. I believe God kept it close as a quiet reminder of His promise over my life.

He Loves Me Through My Mess

I’ll admit—I’m hardheaded. But the Lord loves me anyway. He always meets me in the same place: desperation followed by surrender. Every major breakthrough in my life began with that moment of surrender.

As I prayed about sharing this testimony, the Lord impressed this Scripture on my heart:

“And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.” – John 1:5

That verse reflects my journey. When I acknowledged the evidence of darkness in my life—and the light that was freely available—everything began to change.

From Darkness to Purpose

Today, God has opened doors in my life and career to offer therapy to people struggling not just with addiction, but with the everyday pain of living in a broken world. I get to share the truth, extend compassion, and create a safe space for healing—all because I first experienced that healing myself.

I’ve learned this: the light is always shining—even in the darkness. But sometimes we need to be broken enough to finally see it.

All it takes is one honest prayer. One act of surrender. That’s when everything begins to change.

My Prayer

“God, I know I am may not yet be in your perfect will for my life. But you know my heart and that I am ever seeking to hear you clearly. Just continue to be with me on this journey.”

**You can also send a direct message to Ms. Pierce on the Pursuing Wholeness Resource Page.