Love: The Mark of True Maturity

"For love is supreme and must flow through each of these virtues. Love becomes the mark of true maturity." — Colossians 3:14 TPT

Opening Reflection

Have you ever found yourself doing the right thing, but for the wrong reason? Maybe you extended kindness, but secretly hoped to receive something in return. Or maybe you bit your tongue when you wanted to snap, not because of self-control, but because of fear of judgment. How often do we examine why we do what we do—and whether it’s really motivated by love?

Maturity in Christ isn’t just about self-restraint or behavior modification. It’s about transformation—a reshaping of our desires, motivations, and ultimately, our identity. The Holy Spirit doesn’t just clean us up; He makes us new. But are we willing to yield to that process?

Personal Story

For the past month, I’ve had Colossians 3:12–17 set as my phone’s lock screen—specifically focusing on verse 14: “For love is supreme…” At first, I thought it was just a beautiful reminder of how to treat others, but as the days went by, God began to gently confront me through that verse.

Analyzing uncomfortable moments with others, I realized something difficult: the issue wasn’t solely with “them”—it was within me. I wasn’t truly walking in or exemplifying love. I had been courteous, maybe even kind on the outside, but my heart posture wasn’t right. Frustration, judgment, and pride still lingered beneath the surface. I had not crucified my flesh to the point that my fallen human nature was subdued. The old self—self-preserving maybe even self-centered—was still too alive.

That verse became a mirror. I began to see how easily I was irritated, how often I justified unloving thoughts, and how quick I was to blame others for my lack of peace. But the Spirit, in His mercy, didn’t shame me—He invited me into transformation. I started praying differently. Not for others to change, but for me to be changed. For love—true, selfless, Spirit-born love—to flow through me, even when it wasn’t returned.

Slowly, I began to experience freedom—not by controlling circumstances or people, but by surrendering my reactions and renewing my mind in the Word. God's love isn't just something we receive—it's something we become.

Spiritual Insight

The world tells us to follow our heart. Scripture says to guard it (Proverbs 4:23). The world tells us to cut off people who “don’t serve our peace.” But Jesus served His peace even to those who rejected Him. He didn’t come to protect His comfort—He came to pour Himself out in love.

Paul’s exhortation to Timothy reminds us that age doesn’t determine maturity—character does:

"Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." — 1 Timothy 4:12 NLT

Maturity in Christ is marked by love, not perfection. It’s not about behavior management but Spirit-led transformation. Through the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22–23), we learn to live from a new nature—one that prioritizes gentleness over reaction, patience over irritation, and faithfulness over fickle emotions.

"God is more concerned with our Christlikeness than our comfort." — Dr. David Norris

When the Struggle Turns Inward

If we don’t deal with the root of selfishness or pride, it turns inward. We begin to judge ourselves as harshly as we judge others. Comparison becomes our default. Shame creeps in. Our thoughts become consumed with “Am I doing enough?” “Why can’t I change?” “Why do I keep failing?”

The answer isn’t found in trying harder. It’s found in renewing the mind (Romans 12:2), humbling ourselves, and shifting our focus outward:

• "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves." — Philippians 2:3

• "Serve one another humbly in love." — Galatians 5:13

• "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." — Romans 12:15

Healing comes when we remember we’re not alone—and we’re not the Savior. We’re vessels of His love, not producers of our own righteousness.

Biblically Presented?

Peter knew what it was like to wrestle with self. Passionate yet impulsive, confident yet deeply insecure. He vowed to stand by Jesus and then denied Him three times. But Jesus didn’t discard him—He restored him. After the resurrection, Jesus asked Peter not to prove his strength, but to love:

“Simon, son of John, do you love me?” — John 21:17

Peter's maturity didn’t come from getting everything right. It came from being transformed by grace—and learning to lead others from that same grace.

Mental Wellness Insight

Emotionally, when we’re stuck in a cycle of selfishness or constant self-assessment, it can look like anxiety, guilt, or even spiritual exhaustion. Our self-schema—how we view ourselves—can become distorted. We either see ourselves as failures or saviors. Neither is true.

The Bible says we are new creations in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). Through the plasticity of the brain, we know we can retrain our thought patterns. Science confirms what Scripture declared centuries ago—we can renew our minds (Romans 12:2). As we fill our hearts with God’s Word, and choose daily to walk in love, we start to change from the inside out.

Practical Tool for This Week

Exercise: “Rewire with Love”

Purpose: Replace reactive thoughts with Spirit-led responses rooted in love.

1. Identify a recurring reaction — Who or what tends to trigger your impatience, judgment, or withdrawal?

2. Pause and Pray — Before reacting, ask: What does love look like here? Pray Colossians 3:14 over the situation.

3. Choose a new action — Whether it’s a kind word, a moment of silence, or simply choosing to forgive, let love guide your next step.

   
   

Example: If a coworker’s laziness frustrates you, instead of venting, choose to quietly serve or ask how you can help. Let the Holy Spirit teach you how to “walk in love” practically.

Prayer

My Heavenly Father, I confess that my natural instinct is to protect myself, to prioritize my comfort, and to judge others harshly. But You have called me to more, to take on your nature, to walk in love—to let it be the mark of true maturity in my life. Let Your Spirit transform my mind and heart, so that I reflect Your character even in the hardest moments. Teach me to see people as You see them—broken, beloved, and worth redeeming.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Blessings, Pam <3