The Hidden Battle: When Darkness Meets Divine Nearness

Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

Have you ever looked at someone and thought, “They have it all together,” only to later find out they were barely holding on? Maybe that person has been or is currently you.

In a world that encourages filters and perfection, how often do we stop and ask, “How is my soul, really?” What do we do with the silent storms in our minds and hearts? What happens when sadness lingers so long that it starts to feel like part of our identity?

It's a sobering reminder that what we see on the outside is often just a carefully managed reflection of what someone hopes to project—not the truth of what they’re battling within. Behind the smiles and polished words, many carry silent burdens, hidden fears, and unspoken pain. Sometimes the strongest-looking people are the ones who cry alone, pray quietly, and fight battles no one even knows exist.

A Glimpse Into My Dark Season

Just a few weeks ago, our community was shaken to its core with the devastating news that a 6th grader—only 12 years old—ended her life. It’s happening far too often and far too young.

That news reminded me of a dark place in my own past. I was 17, going through my own mental and emotional valley. I wasn’t triggered by anything specific—I was just deeply unhappy with myself. I’d go days without eating, then binge the next. I felt the sting of a lost friendship, and with that loss came deep isolation. It felt like I was fading into the background.

Though the season was relatively short, the heartache and thoughts I faced during that time were real and painful. And then, in December of that same year, I lost my aunt to suicide. Her death rocked me—because, just a few months earlier, I had silently wrestled with those same haunting thoughts.

But God met me in my darkness.

Spiritual Insight

During that valley, a trusted voice gave me a truth I desperately needed:

“Pam, be yourself. Be exactly who YOU are. You don’t need anyone but Jesus. Maintain your relationship with your Savior; let Him lead your decisions, friendships, and heart.”

That advice redirected everything. I leaned into Scripture, prayer, and fasting. My days were filled with school and work, but my nights were spent alone in my room—with my Bible and Jesus. That time with Him became my lifeline.

The world tells us to chase affirmation and belonging through people, image, and status. But the Word reminds us that our identity is in Christ—not in popularity or perfection. Jesus invites us to come as we are—mess and all.

“Sometimes, the pain is not proof of weakness but of sensitivity and calling. God doesn't waste wounded hearts.”—Dr. David Norris

When the Struggle Turns Inward

If depression goes unaddressed, it can become self-consuming. I know that firsthand. My thoughts became entirely inward: What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I be normal? Why don’t I matter? Shame, comparison, and hopelessness began to rule.

But the antidote isn’t deeper introspection—it’s redirection.

Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

When I began to redirect my thoughts toward what was true and lovely—God’s love, His promises, and the blessings I still had—I found my heart slowly lifting. It wasn’t instant, but it was real. Shifting my focus from the pain inside to the goodness around me helped break the spiral. I wasn't created to dwell in darkness—I was made to dwell in light.

Biblical Character Who Could Relate: Elijah

Elijah, the bold prophet, once called down fire from heaven... and not long after, collapsed under a broom tree, asking God to take his life (1 Kings 19:4). Even after such a spiritual high, he felt exhausted, isolated, and done.

But what did God do?

He didn’t rebuke Elijah. He cared for him. He sent rest, nourishment, and a gentle whisper—not just a miracle, but presence. Elijah wasn’t disqualified by his despair. He was still God’s chosen one. That same God is near to you, too.

Mental Wellness Insight

Depression often shows up subtly: withdrawal, loss of interest, fatigue, low self-worth. It’s not always dramatic, and it's not always a spiritual attack. Sometimes, it’s our body and brain signaling that something needs attention—emotionally, physically, or spiritually.

And while it can feel isolating, you’re not broken. You're human.

God created us as whole beings: mind, body, and spirit. Just as we treat a broken bone, we can tend to our hurting hearts—through prayer, community, Scripture, and, when needed, wise counseling.

Practical Tool for This Week

Let your thoughts pass the Philippians 4:8 Test.

What thoughts have I been dwelling on lately—and do they align with what is true, pure, and lovely? Take a moment to write down three things today that reflect God’s truth and goodness. Let your mind settle on those instead. This week, I'd like to challenge you to a little exercise: The “Anchor & Action” Journal

1. Anchor: Each morning, write down one Scripture that reminds you of God’s nearness. Meditate on it. Speak it aloud.

2. Acknowledge: Write one honest sentence about how you really feel today. No filter.

3. Action: Write one small way to serve or connect with someone else today—a text, note, or prayer.

Example:

• Anchor: “You are fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14)

• Acknowledge: “Today, I feel overwhelmed and unseen.”

• Action: “I’m going to text my cousin and ask how she’s doing.”

This pattern builds awareness, faith, and connection—three things that break the grip of silent suffering.

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Connection

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If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, remember that help is available. You can connect with the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org