When Victorious Living Is Crippled by Worry

Be Happy, Don’t Worry?

Recently a friend sent me a video clip of “Billy the Fish” singing Be Happy, Don’t Worry. That got me thinking about all the adult and teen clients who have spoken to me about anxiety—why they can’t “be happy” because of their worries.

Many of them feel anxious all the time, like something is about to happen. There’s this sense that something is looming on the horizon and they need to be prepared, but they don’t know what it is. So they worry about what it might be… and how to prepare for it.

It becomes a cycle of worry, worry, worry, worry.

On the Horizon I Saw the Shining Future—But What If?

There are many Christians who try to be happy like it’s a destination they can program into their GPS—and if they worry enough, they think they’ll arrive. But instead, they find themselves going in circles, like a hamster on a wheel.

We’ve all felt this way. Life is hard, and we’ve all experienced anxiety or worry at one time or another. We like to feel in control, and when we aren’t, anxiety can creep in. But when that worry takes over and becomes the only thing we can focus on, it starts interfering with our quality of life.

Child of God, We Have a Problem

Occasional anxiousness or worry is part of the human experience. The Bible doesn’t use the word worry directly—it uses careful or cares. The Greek word merimnaó means “to be anxious about.”

For some, anxiety becomes excessive and interferes with daily life. The most commonly diagnosed anxiety disorder is Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), which affects approximately 6.8 million Americans. Sadly, only about 43% of those receive treatment.

GAD is defined as uncontrollable and excessive worry about future events and negative outcomes (Barlow, 2004). Individuals tend to worry about everything—from school and health to relationships—and often struggle with what’s known as an intolerance of uncertainty (Buhr & Dugas, 2009).

The Torment of Uncertainty

I see this both in the church and in my counseling practice. People with an intolerance of uncertainty often believe:

• “My mind can’t be relaxed if I don’t know what will happen tomorrow.”

• “Uncertainty makes me uneasy, anxious, or stressed.”

• “Unforeseen events upset me greatly.”

It becomes a mindset of what ifs? Someone once said, “Worrying is like being in a rocking chair—it gives you something to do but doesn’t get you anywhere.”

The worry cycle often starts with a trigger—internal or external—that causes physical (muscle tension) and emotional (irritability) symptoms of anxiety.

Worrying for the Sake of Worry

There’s a story about a woman who worried for years about her house being broken into. One night, her husband heard a noise, went downstairs, and actually found a burglar. He said, “Good evening. Come upstairs and meet my wife—she’s been waiting ten years to meet you.”

People with GAD may feel uneasy if they’re not worrying, as if something’s wrong. It becomes a prison of “what ifs.”

Left unchecked, this kind of worry can also damage a person’s faith. Some begin to wonder:

• “If I had more faith, I wouldn’t feel this way.”

• “If I was where I should be in Christ, I wouldn’t be anxious.”

But child of God, we are human. John tells us, “fear hath torment” (1 John 4:18). Esther worried too—about her future, her people, Mordecai, and what could happen. Her fears were valid, and so are yours.

When Prayer Feels Like It’s Not Enough

Sometimes in church, well-meaning believers will say, “It’s just an attack from the enemy—you need to pray more.” And yes, prayer is always the right response, but if that’s all we focus on, we might begin to feel defeated when the worry doesn’t stop.

The thoughts begin:

• “Prayer isn’t working.”

• “Maybe God is tired of me.”

• “He doesn’t care about my problems.”

That can lead us to believe it’s useless to even try. But the truth is—we can pray, and we can also learn coping skills to get to the root of the worry and interrupt the cycle.

When Worry Makes You Sick

Here’s a powerful little story:

Death was walking toward a city one morning and a man asked,

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to take 100 people,” Death replied.

“That’s horrible!” the man said.

“That’s the way it is,” Death said.

That night, the man met Death again.

“You said you’d take 100 people—why did 1,000 die?”

Death said, “I kept my word. I only took 100. Worry took the rest.”

Half the people in hospital beds today are there due to stress and worry. Anxiety manifests physically: restlessness, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, irritability, muscle tension, sleep problems… and worse.

Sometimes, the fear is that if we don’t worry, something bad will happen. Others avoid dealing with the issue entirely. These are learned patterns—but the brain, as God created it, can also learn new patterns.

Help is Not a Lack of Faith

If you’ve become what our elders called a “worry wart,” help is available. Life Coaches and Mental Health Counselors within the Ministry of Helps can support you in learning to reduce worry and replace those anxious thought patterns.

Start by changing your inner dialogue:

Instead of “I am anxious,” try saying, “I’m having an anxious thought.”

Remember, God placed gifts in the Body for your benefit. You don’t have to go it alone.

Renewing the Mind

Here is a prayer for renewing your mind that can be helpful:

“Lord, amid my anxious thoughts, I know You are the one who has all things under control.

I give You my thoughts that steal my peace, and I plead the blood over my mind. I want the mind of Christ.

When anxiety tightens its grip on me, I turn to You—and to those You have placed around me for help. I remind myself: You care for the birds, and I know You watch over me.

Lord, help me to think on whatsoever things are true—not just on what I think might happen. With Your help, and through the people You’ve placed in my life, I will see the shining future.

You can reset my thinking. You can renew my mind.”

*****

Shirley Boothe, LCSW-IPR, AACC is a license counselor who changes lives every day through her private practice Real Life Solutions. She is a part of the Pursuing Wholeness family and her information can also be found on our resources page .