Rejection Sensitivity

Rejection comes to us in many forms, and how we respond to it depends on our childhood experiences and whether we were nurtured or neglected. For the well-grounded, self-confident adult who was raised with healthy boundaries and familial acceptance, a lack of attention from a boss or pastor might be brushed off without much thought. But for those prone to rejection, even the smallest slight can ignite a spiral of "what if's" and "why me's," sending them into an overwhelming cycle of rejection sensitivity.

Understanding Rejection Sensitivity

There was a time in my life when something as small as a delayed text response from an authority figure or someone I admired hurt my feelings. I took it too personally - a clear indication that I was being held captive by the unhealed wounds in my heart.

At the time, I felt an overwhelming need to please others, especially those in positions of influence—pastors, their wives, bosses, supervisors, or really anyone I felt I needed acceptance from. If someone had the power to affirm my self-worth, I instinctively sought their approval without even realizing what I was doing. Looking back, I can see how much pressure I placed on myself—and perhaps on those whose attention I craved.

Reminder to Self: Never, ever make another person responsible for your happiness or sense of self-worth.

Breaking Free From Rejection Sensitivity

Breaking free from a Rejection Sensivity mindset wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. Through the anointed counsel of key mentors and the power and undergirding of Almighty God, I am no longer the hyper-rejection sensitive person I was.

But does that mean that I never have a problem with rejection? No. However, it does mean that I now realize that a delayed, or non-responded to text isn’t about me - and is quite frankly no big deal. And if it happens to be a bigger rejection-type issue, I have learned to pause, pray, and give the other person the benefit of the doubt.

In short, I give the other person grace. The same grace that I would want if I was the one that hadn’t responded to their text or had caused some other sort of rejection type pain for them. That's what people do in healthy relationships right? They think the best of the other person. Not the worst.

And thinking the best and not the worst, is also part of becoming more whole in Christ:

“Be devoted to tenderly loving your fellow believers as members of one family. Try to outdo yourselves in respect and honor of one another.” -Romans 12:10

Grace and Rejection Sensitivity

Grace is a word that can often be overused. We say grace, we offer grace, but do we actually live grace?

"Grace requires setting aside judgement and resentment and offering forgiveness and a chance for growth"-ChristianGist.Com

If you realize that you might be rejection sensitive - give yourself some grace. In other words, be kind to yourself.

Yes, work on the areas that you feel you need to improve on, but don't slip into condemnation. And if you are frustrated with someone because they aren't responding to you in a way that you feel they should, give them grace also. Just your willingness to give them the benefit of the doubt will help you to mature your own faith walk and ability to overcome any potential struggles you may

have with rejection sensitivity.

"Tolerate the weaknesses of those in the family of faith, forgiving one another in the same way you have been graciously forgiven by Jesus Christ. If you find fault with someone, release this same gift of forgiveness to them."-Colossians 3:13 (TPT)